Did you know it costs about $130,000 to incarcerate an adult and over $330,000 for a youth for a year?

One of my friends grew up in trauma and ended up being a very successful 'gangster', but he came to understand that he would end up the rest of his life incarcerated if something did not change. And so he started the journey of change. From making $20,000+ a month to being on the welfare to work program. From driving a new car every year to driving an old clunker, from designer clothing for his kids to hand-me-downs and cheap clothing. From hustling for his gangster friends, to providing for his family. What a difficult journey, and yet what a way to end the cycle of crime. He made his family a priority and moved forward. He broke the cycle of poverty and crime. The next generation will not have to struggle with the same issues he had to deal with. But this journey took 10 years and so many tries and sacrifices and so many supporters. But what a difference this will make for all of us.

Another time I was speaking to a group of 'lifers' and I asked one of the men what brought him here. He shared that he watched his father beat his mother to death when he was 16 and he did not know how to handle it... and in his anger, pain, and rage he killed another person. Now he is in for life.

I am a strong believer in restorative justice, I believe that we need to hear a person's story, need to provide the tools for the offender and the victim to have an opportunity to deal with the trauma, and then take steps to move forward. Would my personal life have been different if that was available a long time ago? I do think so. I am not saying we don't need prisons, but I am saying that many things could be changed and I see a movement going in that direction.

I am thankful that we have several youth organizations in Merced who focus on helping young people find healing from their trauma and receive restoration to move forward. We need to invest in these programs; they do make a difference. I am thankful for the movement of understanding ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) and being able to learn new tools to overcome the past. I am thankful for faith communities who focus on youth activities to instill good morals and help people see beyond themselves.

My friend would not have made it was it not for an employer who gave him a chance, a church community that welcomed him in, a support group that cheered him on, and a family that was his anchor.

In the move Avatar, their mutual greeting was "I see you" as they use their hand to move from their forehead to the other person. What if we would look at a young person and say "I see you" and then walk part of their journey with them? What if the adult who is struggling reentering society would be greeted by you with "I see you", would that make a difference?

Your smile, your partnership, your kindness can make a difference in someone's life.

I see you!