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2:15 am and My Mind is Racing


..our dogs were over active last night and I could not get back to sleep.. So here I am, way too early in the morning to be productive and yet my mind does not want to slow down.

My mind is racing about all the things that I did not get done, the unanswered calls, the reports that are late, the updates on the websites, the training preparation...... and I wonder why did God chose me to be the director of a non profit?

There are many more capable people around; many of my friends could do a much better job at handling all the responsibilities; many people are more gifted and more passionate than I.

But God chose me! Isn't that amazing. He chooses a broken person to help bring wholeness to individuals and communities. He uses a person with an 8th grade education to write grants and fill out IRS forms. He uses a 'English as a second language' person to stand before an audience.

I guess it is not up to me to make things 'perfect' to have all my 'i's dotted and my 't's crossed, if God chose me to do this work then He knew beforehand what He was getting into. :)

So, as the new dawn approaches I am ready, ready to do my part in bringing God's Kingdom on earth as it is in heaven, ready to do what God called me to do to love Him first and then to love my neighbor.

If you see me flustered and complaining of not getting everything done... just remind me that I was not chosen for my perfection, not because I could get the job done, but because God works best with broken vessels. And if you have pity on me, come alongside the work and help, I could use all the help I can get.

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