There is something powerful that happens when people feel safe enough to be "real" with each other.
Recently, I had a conversation with a gentleman who is going to do an internship with us. As we talked and got to know each other a little bit, he told me that he had heard my story before, and because of
that, he felt like he could be honest with me about his own story.
I have thought about that conversation for the last few days. Trust does not magically appear. It has to be developed, learned, and created over time.
I see this play out regularly in our community centers. When our kids meet a new intern or volunteer, they will often push boundaries or test limits. They are trying to figure out if this new person is safe, trustworthy, and genuine. Teenagers are especially good at this. They can often sense very quickly if somebody has an agenda or if they truly care.
conversations,
We see the same thing in friendships. Trust is built through a thousand little moments disappointments, honesty, forgiveness, consistency. Over time, this beautiful back-and-forth creates relationships strong enough to last for decades.
We even see it in politics. At the end of the day, people do not only judge leaders by slogans, advertisements, or polished speeches. We watch how they treat people. We notice how they respond
under pressure, how they handle disagreement, and how they treat their opponents. Character eventually reveals itself.
Most of us long to be surrounded by "real" people. But that means we first have to be willing to show up
authentically ourselves. Real relationships take time and hard work. They require honesty, vulnerability, humility, and grace. Yet once trust is established, we can walk closely together through life for many
years.
I also believe becoming the "real" version of ourselves requires us to do some deep work internally. We need to examine our hearts, remain open to learning, and develop a mindset that allows us to grow instead of pretending we already know everything.
As we move deeper into another election season, I hope we look beyond advertisements and social
media sound bites. Pay attention to character. Watch how people treat others. Look for integrity, humility, and consistency.
In the children's book The Velveteen Rabbit, there is a beautiful quote:
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you."
I think there is wisdom in that. Becoming "real" happens slowly, through relationships, trust, love, and shared experiences.
Our world needs a little more of that right now. Maybe we need to stop performing for each other and
start seeing each other as human beings again.