Remembering
I was listening to a podcast yesterday that was talking about PTSD and C-PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) and as I was listening, I realize that I have C- (complex) PTSD from my childhood trauma. For some who know me, it is like a 'duh' moment. For me, I never thought of that. I always thought of people coming back from war, experience horrible things as people with PTSD. Interesting how we can block out things. Anyway, the article was talking about how the brain is wired differently and often more reflects the brain of a ADHD person. And how trauma effects many aspects of life, like emotional dysregulations, negative self- perception, loss of meaning and purpose. Many of us have gotten counseling to deal with the trauma, many of us have not. I had a conversation with a 50-year-old about his C-PTSD and I asked M. how he was going to deal with it: "I won't, I am too old to open that can of worms" was his response.
In Merced we have a growing community of older people, many grew up in a world were sharing hurtful moments, talking about abuse and trauma were not considered acceptable, and so it was suppressed by hard work, too much alcohol,
or medication. Just like the person who I talked about earlier, the trauma stayed hidden, and the effects untreated. In the case M. workaholism kept the emotional trauma at bay, but during COVID he was on suicide watch, because he could not cover the pain.
As you see us 'old people' walking around, be a bit more gracious and understanding, know that many of us carry a burden of experiences we were never build to carry, and that at this time in our lives, when we are slowing down, when we can't be as productive as before, the trauma might become more
evident, and our responses might be out of proportion. It is the generation of the 50+ who worked hard, sacrificed much and did less self-care to make America a
great nation. Show respect, be more gracious, and be our friend, we need you.
I was listening to a podcast yesterday about PTSD and C-PTSD (complex post- traumatic stress disorder), and somewhere in the middle of it I had a quiet realization: I have C-PTSD from childhood trauma. For those who know me well, this might be one of those "well... duh" moments. For me, it wasn't.
I always associated PTSD with people coming back from war-people who had seen horrific things. It never occurred to me that trauma could look quieter, longer, woven into childhood. It's interesting how effectively we can block things
out.
The podcast talked about how trauma wires the brain differently, often overlapping with what we see in ADHD-how it shows up in emotional dysregulation, negative self-perception, and a loss of meaning or purpose. Many of us have gone to counseling to deal with these things. Many of us haven't.
Recently, I had a conversation with a 50-year-old man about his own C-PTSD. I asked him how he planned to deal with it. His answer was simple and heartbreaking: "I won't. I'm too old to open that can of worms."
Here in Merced, we have a growing community of older adults who were raised in a world where talking about abuse, pain, or trauma was not acceptable. Hurt was swallowed and managed through hard work, overworking, alcohol, or medication. Like the man I mentioned earlier, the trauma stayed hidden, untreated. In his
case, workaholism kept the pain at bay-until COVID stripped that away, and he
ended up on suicide watch because he no longer had a way to cover the pain.
So when you see us "older people" walking around, I invite you to be a little more gracious, a little more patient. Many of us are carrying burdens we were never meant to carry alone. And now, as we slow down, as productivity fades, as our bodies and roles change, that old trauma can surface more clearly. Our reactions may seem out of proportion-but they are often rooted in long, unseen stories.
We are the 50+ generation that worked hard, sacrificed much, and practiced very
little self-care in the effort to make this country what it is. Please show respect. Be gracious. Be our friend.
We need you.